i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
