The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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