Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
