sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
