Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
