threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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