is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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