I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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