people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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