He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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