i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
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That bitch ruined vodka saturday
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
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This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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