i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
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I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
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I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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