Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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