areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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