What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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