remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
