Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
