Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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