I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My penis needs a shock collar
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
