We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I accidentally had phone sex last night
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
