it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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