Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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