im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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