I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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