Non-Jews are for practice
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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