i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
