How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
