bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
