Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just invented taco cereal.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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