There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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