If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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