Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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