you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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