I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
