well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
