Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
this will be a night to untag.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
