I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
do herpes really smell.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
