So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
