went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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