you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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