i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
should my penis look like a turkey
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
