Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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