A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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