My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think I won the penis lottery.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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