is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
