I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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