Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
