A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
