Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize