I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
