He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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