I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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