found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
