I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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