M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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