He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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