it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
